Old Man and Young Girl etc

an email i received...and just in case you haven't seen it..

 Old Man and Young Girl

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why?
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything

Don't Look At Naked Lady

Boy1: why do you run away from a naked lady?

Boy2: because my mum said if i look at a naked lady, I will turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

Happy Man

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

Service

Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,

And sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service."

 Good Ambition

Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Cause it's the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it

Virgin

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: "RETURNED UNOPENED"

michellesnoopy